I’m reading various novels and also experiencing the world around me and inside of me, and the question of what could have been has arisen more than once in me with regard to my life. Of course, some will say quite quickly, without giving it a second thought, that “everything happens for a reason,” and that what was meant to happen, happened. But we are thinking creatures, rational creatures, and we want to put our reason to use. So we keep thinking of what-ifs.
Now, if these hypotheticals are about the past, I believe that once they do the good work of healing and bringing some things to our attention, we should let them go. Otherwise, they’re wasting our time and stealing some of our joy at the present. BUT if they are about the present, as in “what if I contacted this old friend of mine I haven’t heard from in a while?”, by all means do it! I am guilty of both ruminations about the past and decisive actions in the present to retrieve some people from that past, and I can say that I’ve had good results in the latter situation.
So if you believe in your heart that you should contact an old friend, I’d say do it.
If the question, however, is about an old flame, then I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve left those in the past, much as I do still care about them and wonder how they’ve been. BUT I know from my life experience and stories I’ve heard from others of many situations where old lovers reconnected after decades, and this has always seemed amazing to me. When I was young, it was a dreamy sort of amazement at these stories, as in well, soul mates will be drawn to each other no matter what. Then as I got older (I’m in my forties now) I’ve started to wonder how come that after decades in a world so rapidly changing as ours, and where we, too, change so fast sometimes, two people can reconnect regardless of the passage of time. That’s very interesting to me.
Of course, the question is also about where you left the relationship. If you and your lover parted on less than amicable terms despite your love, then you may find those reasons are still there, despite the passage of time, eager to raise their heads. But if, say, you relocated for work while your relationship was going on beautifully, then who knows?
Also, I’m all for reconnecting with people you feel you want to grow old talking to, but sometimes that may hurt other people so, in my case, I give up. But then in other instances, I reconnect with old friends and it’s almost as if I feel my life physically expanding. I start thinking different thoughts, thinking about things in new ways, considering stories I want to share with my old/new friend, and—nerd alert—enjoying the beauty of swimming in the Venn diagram of our connected lives.
To old friends! And, who knows, old/new BFFs!
Disclosure: This blog post contains some affiliate links, at no additional cost to you. I am a Zazzle Associate and designer, and I earn commissions when you buy products through my referral links. All affiliate links on this blog are identified as such. Here’s my Full Disclosure.
Here are two mugs I made to celebrate friendship.
And because I’m a tea fiend, here’s a magnet with a quote about both friendship and tea.
Here’s also a mug with the above quote. I created it for friends who get together for tea at home. I was thinking that maybe the host could surprise her old friend with this mug, and save it for her for future visits.
I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s post! 🙂
To a happier, healthier life,